Note: This entry title isn't about the mayan prophecy or any other bullshit like that. The world is not going to end. Ever. Not even when you die.
I am writing this entry to whomever thinks he can mirror himself within my story. This is for the people that believe they could make an award winning movie that includes their worst and best year of their life until now. The year of the Apokalypse. Mine that is.
I've always been the kind of guy that tried to help my friends to think in so many different ways about a specific situation. I didn't advise them, I just listened and tried to show them other possibilities in which they could choose their own path of discovering what to do next. I don't recall any of them not showing that they thank me in one way or another. Some of the people I've met have some issues that define them in how they act or think. Some of them were raised only by a parent or other major life impacting situation. So I asked myself ,,How come I can help them think larger if I never had such a life?". The question appeared once in a while in my head, until 2011 faded away. On the night of the new year 2011-2012 I head someone say that they way you live that day will define the rest of the year. I guess it got stuck in my head and I went on with that idea. Well, what can I say? It was great! So I kept the idea the dude said about the rest of the year.
Almost two months passed and it went pretty well, until 28 of February 2012. I just woke up from a small gathering at my house. I had one of the best times with my friends the night before. It even made me think that it was a night I will never forget. Of course alcohol was involved
. So as I woke up, didn't go to school got too lazy, I started to browse the web until I get a phone call. A friend called to inform me something that will impact the rest of my life. I had just found out that my ex is in the hospital and she gave birth. For a moment there I said that this is a really stupid joke. But I kept listening to her talk until I slowly started shaking to the reality of the situation. My friends woke up and saw me talk on the phone and vaguely tried to understand what happened because they saw how freaked out I was. After I hang up the phone, I sat down stared at the floor for 10 seconds and realized that this is happening and it's not a dream. Yes I had the ,,Holy shit this isn't a dream" moment. After a bit of panic I get an e-mail from my ex with the following message "Hey, It's your ex, we need to talk, we have a baby boy.". In that moment the nightmare kept getting worse and worse by the minute. Ultimately I went down at the hospital and they confirmed that she is there and I have a baby boy. The moment the nurse told me that I understood that this is real. I went outside light a cigarette and started to realized the situation. I didn't know I didn't even see her get ,,fat" and I saw her daily at high school. I ended the relationship 7 months before this happened. She didn't say anything and I didn't see any changes, who would of thought a baby could come out of that skinny girl. Furthermore, I ended the relationship with her because she cheated on me, guess how happy I was to get stuck with her for the rest of my life. The only person I really started to hate for what she did to me.
The next day I went to visit her at the hospital. Before seeing her I was think of my reaction when I see her. What could I do due to the fact that she broke my heart and became the mother of my child just like that (I didn't talk to her for 7 months didn't even say hello and just seeing her daily made me despise her each time even more). How would you react? Well, I went inside the waiting room, I saw her and even though I trashed my ego, I hugged her and told her ,,Who's your daddy?" A bit of humor helps even in the worst situations. I realized she just gave birth and I can't start yelling at her. So I helped her sit down, I took her hand and well we started to talk, hardly because of the what happened with us and the day before. I also did tell her how much wrong she did with me and not telling me. While I was there my class teacher called me (she never called me before) and asked how am I? Of course the word spread out like wildfire so that the whole school and in a few weeks everyone I know found out. Afterwards, I went home and made an "Intervention" for myself. The future wasn't that bright anymore.
A few days later she was ready to go home. I didn't see my kid yet because the hospital wouldn't let me. What the fuck? Right? So I went to see my child at her place. So I got there and when I opened the door to see my child (very trippy moment) I saw 10 people at least just looking at me. After 10 seconds everyone stood up and leaved the room except my ex and my kid. I held him in my arms and it felt weird because I was expecting to connect with him, for a couple of minutes he was just a baby. Until he opened his eyes. Wow. He reached into my soul. That was the moment we connected.
A few days later I told my family about their grandson. They didn't react well and they didn't support me that much with the kid. They told me never to go see him until we have a paternity test. Needless to say I kept seeing him as much as I could because of the exams. Basically they left me alone in the whole child situation (except for my sister which is #1 since I was born. I love you.).
A week after on the 6th of March. Exactly one week. While I was visiting my new son I went outside for a bit to meet with a friend just outside the building, when suddenly a cop came next to me and put me on the ground. They took me to the police and got samples of my blood for drug testing it came out positive and a month I was facing the court for consuming weed. So they dragged me to court for 2 times now. And soon I'' be facing the High Court of Justice of Romania for a smoking weed. Yeah, this is the world we live in. I guess the police in Romania want to hurt people as much as they can.
After a few months of the incident I was facing exams for finishing high school and another one for college admission.
It became harder to open up to anyone because I was always studying. My parents didn't really let me go out because I couldn't blow this chance of doing something good for a change. So I was stuck between 4 walls for a few months. I had the kid, the police and the exams all on my shoulders. I'm glad I didn't have a breakdown but I'm not ashamed to say I was close.
Finally, after all that study and hard work I got all the exams and soon moved to the capital of Romania. Fresh start. Sadly, I was exhausted of everything that happened, so I cut out my dreadlocks. That was very painful for me because I grew with them (and my hair grows like really really REAAALLLY slow). I dropped a tear that day but things changed. The reconstruction phase began.
Since I moved everything went a bit better. I started to feel more independent and gain more responsibilities. Except the fact that I already moved twice since I got here and soon I'll be doing that again which is really stressful. The hits from life keep coming and coming.
In the present day I'm a few days away from moving to another apartment and a week from finishing the last court appearance. On the 28th of February I have to see my son for his birthday which I really am anxious to see him.
Well then, that pretty much covers up everything this year gave me. To summarize everything, I had a fucked up situation with my family, the police, studying and not being homeless. It's hard for me to believe I can handled this shit. And although all of this happened I still am a happy person, I love life and all it can offer. I stood strong even though everything broke into pieces. It ripped apart everything I was. But still I am happy that this year, I learned so many things about myself and the world we live in.
In conclusion, this year was the year of my Apokalypse, hence my nickname ,,ApokAnno" (the picture from the profile is made the day I cut my dreadlocks). In my opinion, the script my life wrote for this year beats the majority of drama movies that are produced in the present
(Lack of modesty I know).
Needless to say I am happy and I'm doing my best to get better and better at life. I believe I have gained 10 levels this year
. And I'm turning 20 in the 17 of February.
P.S.: I became the king of issues. And I'm happy.